Tips to Help Decide What’s Best for Your Loved One

One of the most frequent questions we get asked is ‘how do I know when it’s time for my loved one to go into senior living?’ Unfortunately, this is not an easy question to answer and our emotions can often cloud our judgment. At Navigate Wellness, we have an eight point assessment we use to develop an objective answer on whether your loved one may be ready to live away from home. When we do an assessment with someone, we go over eight different areas to make sure we’re capturing what’s going on and to make a proactive plan. We look at health, environment, social support, as well as legal and financial advocacy. We also look at local resources and we make plans for crisis intervention.

When completing an assessment, it’s important to not take each item individually, as all the factors are connected. The answer to this burning question isn’t simple and lies somewhere in looking at the questions holistically. Let’s go over some tips on what to look for when you may begin to think it might be time for mom, dad, or a loved one to go into senior living.

1. Acknowledge Tension

Recognize the tension that might bubble up over this topic. A lot of people resist the tension and think it’s normal. Although the tension is common, we recommend listening to that tension. When there’s stress, that’s a really good sign that there’s a mismatch between the environment that this person is in and their social support, their health support, or just the general plan. Instead of ignoring the tension that indicates there’s a mismatch, lean in to find out where it’s really coming from.

2. Activities of Daily Living

When professionals are assessing someone and their environment, they will look at activities of daily living (ADLs) and also instrumental activities of daily living (IDLs). These include using the phone, technology, shopping, food prep, cooking, housekeeping, laundry, transportation, medication management, and financial management. These are things that if someone can’t do, they’re not in huge trouble right now. But, this is a cue that things are starting to deteriorate. This is also where support can be added to help someone do these things to increase their chances of staying at home.

3. Social Support

Acknowledging IADLs and ADLs are really important to understanding someone’s situation, but so is social support. It’s important to know that this support looks different for everyone. Support could be formal care which is when you contract a caregiver to help with certain aspects of your loved ones life. Support also shows up as informal care, such as in a friend or a spouse who isn’t being paid but can fill in the gaps. Two of the biggest things to consider when your loved one stays at home is their level of social support and their financial picture. If you don’t have anyone who can come into the home and you aren’t able to find a way to pay for it, that’s going to help make the decision for you. We have to find a place where these services can remain in the budget.

4. Protect Independence, Dignity, and Safety

Protecting your loved one’s independence and dignity becomes even more important when it comes time to plan. At times, compromises do have to be made, and you might not be able to meet every single little thing on the wishlist for your loved one. But, you do need to make sure that the big things are covered and that people are safe. 

What you determine as ‘big things’ are prompts for a larger discussion with your loved one. Sometimes people really believe that the epitome of independence is staying at home. But if we really dive into that conversation and look at the things they want to do and the things that they don’t want to do, the tension that’s going on, their financial picture, and their social support we can see that sometimes moving into senior living is the best option to protect that person’s independence. 

Use the IADL and the ADL assessments as an upfront guide that can make the decisions for you. When we take the time to put words to paper, it can provide clarity and a less sensitive place to start these conversations.

As a reminder, it’s important to get an understanding of what your loved one believes independence means to them. It’s even more beneficial to have these discussions proactively. When you take these steps proactively you’re able to diminish the tension within these sensitive conversations before they are heavy and real.

Take Charge

If you want to proactively take charge of your loved one’s care, we recommend starting with our free assessment that will provide personalized recommendations for their care navigation.